2022年10月24日 星期一

Conversation Between My House Cats Concerning World Affairs


Christmas: China's going to invade any day now, oh no!

Mango: What's a "China?"

Christmas: I don't know, but it's a huge problem!

Milky: Why is it a huge problem?

Christmas: I don't know, it's just a huge problem!

Jojo: Will the invasion disrupt the cat food supply?  If so, that IS a problem.  Are the Chinese after our cat food?  They can't have my cat food!  I need it!

Milky: I think you should chill on the news, Christmas.  I know the humans like it, but it's not for cats.  You should sleep through it like the rest of us.

Mango: Hey, what're you guys talking about?  I fell asleep...

Milky: Go back to bed.  And since we're on the subject, what's "Russia?"

Mango: Is it a new kind of cat food?

Jojo: Go back to bed.  "Russia" is that bald serious man in the TV.  He wants something called a "Ukraine."

Mango: Is "Ukraine" a new kind of cat food?

Christmas: Go back to bed.  Yes, Russia is the bald serious man.  I think he's friends with the "China."

Jojo: So the bald serious man is going to invade us too?

Christmas: Maybe.

Milky: What's he going to invade?

Christmas: I don't know.  Maybe he wants this Ukraine cat food.  Or maybe "Ukraine" is a kind of cat litter, and he wants more of it for his cats.  Maybe his cats shit too much.

Milky: Sounds like s serious problem.  We don't need more litter, but if we could get some of those expensive Japanese cat food cans...

Mango: Hell yes!  The Japanese ones are the best!

Christmas: Maybe China's going to invade Japan, and not Taiwan?  Maybe on their way back they can feed us some of the Japanese cat food?

Jojo: ...but then why would China invading be a bad thing?

Milky: I don't know.

Christmas: I don't know.

Mango: ....

Milky: Climate change?

Jojo: What's that?

Christmas: I think it's when the humans close all the windows and doors in the winter.  Or maybe it's when they turn on the air conditioner in the summer.

Milky: I like that.

Jojo: Me too.  

Mango: I hear the key in the lock!  The humans are home!  Time for dinner!  Go, go, go!

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