"6,072"
So, according to Google at least, there are over six thousand 7-11s in Taiwan. Given that there are 23,451,837 people living on this island, that means there's one 7-11 for every 3,862 people.
Or, given that Taiwan's total land area is 36,197 square kilometers, this also means that there's approximately one 7-11 for every 6 square kilometers. This is of course assuming that the 7-11s are distributed evenly, which is far from the case. In the cities one often finds 7-11s across the street from one another, each franchise engaged in an endless round of Mortal Kombat, intent on becoming the one, true 7-11 which has consumed all others. One 7-11 to rule them all, until Taiwan itself is nothing more than one giant 7-11, in which we all work, and in which we are all customers.
One day I'll be teaching English in that vast, future 7-11. I'll have an apartment near the beer section, and my job will be somewhere near the frozen foods. In the summers I'll take my 7-11 passport to the 7-11 International Airport, I'll board a 7-11 plane bound for another 7-11 International Airport, and from there I'll visit my parents in a still more distant 7-11, far across the sea.
Or not. And anyway I think that number's wrong. There are at least two new 7-11s that I know of - one in Pingtung and one in Kaohsiung - and these two probably aren't included in the number Google gave me. So 6,074 at least. But then again there are undoubtedly other new 7-11s, in other parts of Taiwan, that Google has yet to learn of.
Taiwan has A LOT of 7-11s. Alongside these 7-11s you'll also find Family Marts, OK Marts and Hi-Lifes, though 7-11 is undoubtedly king of this particular Formosan castle. Off the top of my head there are five 7-11s in Fangliao Township, three in Fangshan, and around the same number in nearby Jiadong and Xinpi. My bit of central Pingtung County is a little bit behind the national average, but we're still doing well in terms of coverage.
Are there parts of Taiwan that don't have 7-11s? Yes, I'm happy to say there are. I can think of several sparsely populated townships that don't have any, all located near the mountains. If you want to get away from 7-11s, heading toward the mountains, far away from urban areas and major roads, is your best bet. Many of the townships with a higher than average number of aboriginal residents are entirely free of 7-11s and other convenience store chains, provided they're not located near a major tourist attraction. If they are near something famous you can forget it, they have at least one 7-11 there for sure.
Taiwan even has an unofficial 7-11 Day. When is 7-11 Day? You guessed it - July 11. This date stands in opposition to Australia's 7-11 Day, which falls on November 7 due to the reprehensible manner in which Australians write dates.
All of the 7-11s in Taiwan are owned by (or franchised through) the President Chain Store Corporation. The President Chain Store Corporation has a history stretching back to 1978, when it inked a deal with an American conglomerate to operate 7-11s in Taiwan. This corporation also offers franchise rights to Starbucks, Cosmed, Mr. Donut, Muji, Carrefour and Takkyubin. It operates Kaohsiung's Dream Mall and the Uni-President Department Store. The President Chain Store Corporation is in turn a subdivision of the Uni-President Enterprises Corporation, an even more fearsome corporate behemoth that produces much of the food that 7-11 sells.
So, even if you "own" a 7-11, you still have to stock it with the products the company that franchised it to you makes, and then you need to stock it with yourself, which the Uni-President Enterprises Corporation may or may not also own. Capitalism is fun, isn't it?
Needless to say, all of the goods and services provided so graciously by the Uni-President Enterprises Corporation, through its subsidiary the President Chain Store Corporation, flow downward to us, the consumers. And do we love these goods and services? Of course we do! 7-11 has coffee, beer, condoms, Doritos, juice, towels, raincoats, magazines, microwaveable hamburgers, marginally edible fruit, pens and a lot of other stuff I'm forgetting now because I've been sitting in this office all day and I'm tired. You can pay your bills at 7-11, you can collect train tickets at 7-11, you can make copies at 7-11, and you can even take a shit at 7-11 if the mood strikes you. At some 7-11s, that is. Not all of them have bathrooms.
If you're visiting Taiwan for the first time you'll probably see a 7-11 once you've left Customs. Then, like all visitors - moths to the flame that we are - you'll visit said 7-11, perhaps to buy a hot dog so that you can fulfill your quota of nitrates for the year. Hey, you'll get no judgement from me on this score. I've done it many times myself.
But maybe, maybe, maybe you could go a bit easy on the 7-11s while you're here? Don't give them ALL your money, after all. Visit Family Mart once in a while, or do something shameful like buying a beer at Hi-Life. Play the field, there's no need to get monogamous right away. You'll have time to enjoy a bit of freedom first, and then, when you're ready, you can settle into the loving arms of "Open Jiang" along with the rest of humanity.
There to sleep, perchance to dream, until we wake again, and from that state of wakefulness stumble onward through a series of 7-11s, all of which are pale reflections of that final, ultimate 7-11 which resides in a world yet to come. Mortals that we are, let us bow our heads in prayer, in the hope that in this Seventh Eleven, lying beyond the mortal plane, we will all find conveniences yet to be imagined.
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