2016年9月25日 星期日

Me, Now 現在的我

I am "Dopey Bashful Heffalump."

1. What's your name?  你叫什麼名字?

My name?  Well, if you know me, then you know my name.  If you don't know me, you might be able to use the Internet to find out.  If you aren't able to use the Internet to find out, maybe you can guess.  If you can't guess, maybe you can ask a friend to help you find out.  If you don't have any friends, perhaps you and I can be friends one day.  我的名字?  如果你認識我, 你應該知道我的名字.  如果你不認識我, 你應該可以使用網路找到我的名字.  如果你不能利用網路找到, 或許你可以猜猜看.  如果你猜不到的話, 你可以找朋友幫忙.  如果你沒有朋友的話, 也許我們兩個人以後有機會當朋友.

2. What's your address?  你的地址是什麼?

It will be obvious from this blog that I live in Taiwan.  It will also be obvious that I live in Taitung, on the east coast.  If you research a little further, you'll discover that I live in an apartment building, and that I work in a public elementary school.  Taitung isn't that big.  You can probably find me if you try.  從這個部落格就知道我住在台灣.  我住在東海岸的台東也很明顯.  如果你再多留心一點的話, 你會發現我住在一棟公寓大樓裡面, 在公立國小上班.  台東很小.  找到我應該沒問題.

3. What's your phone number?  你的電話幾號?

I thought you already had my phone number.  Why haven't you called?  I've been waiting and waiting!  我以為你已經有我的電話.  你為甚麼沒打電話給我?  我等很久了!

4. Where are you from?  你從哪裡來?

I am from Seattle.  Seattle is a city in Washington State.  Washington State is one of the fifty states that comprise the United States of America.  The United States of America is one of 197 countries in the world, or 193 if you only count countries that are members of the United Nations.  我從西雅圖來的.  西雅圖在華盛頓州.  華盛頓州是美國50州的其中一個.  美國是世界上197個國家中的一個, 或是聯合國193個國家的其中一個.

Taiwan, sadly, is no longer a member of the United Nations.  很可惜台灣不是聯合國的國家之一.


5.Where's the cat?  貓在哪裡?

The cat is in my apartment.  It's sleeping.  Please don't bother it.  It's had a long day. 我的貓在我的公寓裡面.  牠在睡覺.  請你不要把牠吵醒了.  牠很累.

6. What are you doing?  你在做什麼?

Right now I am typing.  I am also drinking coffee.  In about one hour I will go teach a class.  About two hours after that I will eat lunch.  After lunch I will teach another class.  After I teach the second class I will probably be typing this again.  At 4:30 I will teach a class at the Taitung County Government building.  Then I will go home.  Then I will eat dinner.  Then I will watch a movie.  Then I will go to bed.  Good night.  我正在打字喝咖啡.  我一個小時後要上課,  上完課後兩個小時要吃午餐.  午餐後我還要上一節課.  教完課後大概繼續打字.  我4:30的時候要去台東縣政府那邊多上一節課.  然後我回家,吃晚餐, 看電影.  那之後我去睡覺.  晚安.

7. Are you busy?  你在忙嗎?

Right now?  No, not really.  I will be much busier tomorrow.  現在嗎?  不是很忙.  我明天會比較忙.

8. Are you tall or short?  你是高的還是矮的?

Most Taiwanese people would say that I am tall.  I have some foreign friends, however, who would say that my height is average.  I don't think anyone would think of me as short.  大部分的臺灣人會說我很高, 可是我有一些外國朋友會說我的身高普通.  不會有人覺得我很矮吧.


9. Are you young or old?  你年輕還是年紀大?

At 41, I don't think of myself as young.  But I'm not old yet - I can still get around pretty well.    41歲的我不算什麼年輕人, 可是我還沒到年紀大的時候.  我的身體還是很健康.

Most Taiwanese people would try to be very polite and tell me that I am young, but I don't tend to believe them.   很多台灣人很有禮貌地跟我說我還是很年輕, 可是我不相信這種話.

My opinion?  If you think 41 is old, you probably haven't gotten there yet.  If you think 41 is young, you're probably older than 41.  If you're telling someone they're old or young, you're probably either trying to either make yourself feel better, or them feel worse.  我的意見?  你如果覺得41歲很老的話, 你大概還沒到這個年齡.  如果你覺得41歲很年輕的話, 你大概過了這個年齡.  你如果跟別人說他們年老還是年輕, 原因大概是想讓自己舒服一點, 或是讓他們的心情差一點.

10. Are you fat or thin?  你很胖還是很瘦?

Some guys were joking about me being "fat" the other day, so I must be thin.  I think compared to a lot of guys my age I'm in good shape.  某天我的朋友們開玩笑說我"胖", 所以我大概是瘦的.  跟同年齡的男人比, 我的身材是不錯的.

11. Who is she?  她是誰?

I don't know who she is.  You'll have to be more specific.  The only female in the office right now is one of our school's English teachers.  我不知道她是誰.  你要再具體一點.  目前在辦公室的女人只有我們學校的英文老師.

12. Where's the restaurant?  餐廳在哪裡?

Which restaurant?  My favorite restaurant?  My favorite Western restaurant is the Dulan Diner in Dulan.  My favorite Chinese restaurant is the He Nan Wei on Shin Sheng Road.  I also like the Chen Hong Shin Pork Noodle restaurant on Chuan Guang Road.  哪一家餐廳?  我最喜歡的餐廳嗎?  我最喜歡的西式餐廳是都蘭那邊的都蘭食堂.  我最喜歡的中國餐廳是新生路上的河南味.  我也很喜歡傳廣路上的陳紅心豬肉麵店.



13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a shirt.  不好意思.  我在找襯衫.

Then I think you should go to Uniqlo.  That's where I buy most of my shirts.  Or you could go to Giordano, or Hang Ten, or any of those other ones.  I don't really buy clothes anymore.  Maybe I should?  那你要去Uniqlo吧.  我在那裡買大部分的襯衫.  你也可以去Giordano, 還是Hang Ten, 還是其他的地方.  我最近很少買衣服.  可能我應該多買幾件衣服.

14. What languages do you speak?  你會講什麼語言?

I speak English and Mandarin.  I can understand a little bit of Taiwanese and German.  The Taiwanese is from listening to my wife's relatives' drunken conversations on Chinese New Year.  The German is from studying it in high school.  I can't speak Taiwanese or German well though.  Never got the practice.  我會講英文跟國語.  台語跟德文知道一點點.  我懂一點台語的原因是以前跟太太的家人過中國新年.  我懂一點德文的原因是我在高中的時候學過.  其實我不大會講台語或是德文.  我的練習不夠.

15. What do you do every day?  你每天做什麼?

Monday to Friday I go to work.  I run on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I usually go bicycling on Saturday mornings, and swimming on Sunday mornings.  On Friday and Saturday evenings I enjoy beer.  Lately I watch more movies than I read books, though this may change at any time.  禮拜一到禮拜五是我的上班日.  我禮拜二跟禮拜四去跑步.  通常禮拜六早上騎單車, 禮拜日去游泳.  我禮拜五, 六晚上喜歡喝啤酒.  我最近看比較多的電影, 看比較少的書, 可是這個狀況隨時改變.

16. What kind of movies do you like?  你喜歡哪一種電影?

For me, nothing beats a good horror movie.  But good horror movies are hard to find.  I watch all the superhero movies, though I have to say they've been about 50/50 this year.  Lately I've been watching a lot of movies from the 1970s.  The last good movie I saw was All the President's Men, from 1976.  我超喜歡好看的恐怖電影.  可是好看的恐佈電影很難得.  我看過所有的超人電影, 可是今年的超人電影只有一半是好看的.  我最近看很多1970年代的電影.  我覺得1976年的 "大陰謀" 滿好看.


17. Who's your favorite movie star?  你最喜歡的影星是誰?

That's a tough one.  Maybe Sean Connery, but he's been in a lot of bad movies.  Or maybe Idris Elba.  Or Charlize Theron?  I'd have to think about that some more.  I'll get back to you.  這個問題很難.  有可能是史恩·康納萊, 可是他也出現在很多很差的電影裡.  有可能是伊卓瑞斯·艾巴, 還是莎莉·賽隆.  這個問題我還要再想想.  以後再跟你講.

18. What kind of books do you like?  你喜歡哪一種書?

If we're talking about fiction, my favorite genre is science fiction, hands-down.  If it's non-fiction, I like books about space, books about space travel, books about time travel, books about quantum mechanics, books about Taiwan's animals, books about Taiwan's plants, books about Taiwan's history, books about magic/witchcraft, books about economics, books about comic books, books about ancient history, or books about strange religions.  If I'm reading in Chinese, I prefer topics that are both more "local" and more "serious."  If I'm reading in English, I prefer books that are strange.  如果是小說的話, 我最喜歡的是科幻小說.  如果是非小說類的書, 我喜歡的主題包括外太空, 太空旅行, 時間旅行, 量子力學, 臺灣野生動物, 臺灣植物, 臺灣歷史, 魔法, 經濟, 漫畫, 古代歷史和奇奇怪怪的宗教.  我看中文書的時候喜歡比較 "當地" 和比較 "嚴肅" 的題材.  如果看英文書, 我喜歡奇怪的內容.

19. What kind of sports do you like?  你喜歡哪一些運動?

My favorite sport to watch is American football.  I also used to watch a lot of road cycling when I had cable.  I enjoy taking in a baseball or soccer game, too.  Not fond of basketball.  我最喜歡看的運動就是美式足球.  我以前有MOD的時候也很喜歡看單車比賽.  看棒球還是足球也不錯.  我不喜歡看籃球.

My favorite sport to play?  Soccer can be fun.  I run, swim, and bike a fair amount, so of course I enjoy those activities most of the time.  I know a lot of guys who are into surfing, and I like attempting that sport, but I am an exceedingly poor surfer.  我最喜歡玩什麼運動?  足球不錯.  我通常跑步, 游泳, 還有騎單車, 所以我當然喜歡這些運動.  我有很多朋友喜歡衝浪.  我也喜歡這麼做, 可是我的技術很爛.

20. Do you usually wash your car on Saturday?  你通常在禮拜六的時候洗車嗎?

No, I never wash our car.  I barely drive the thing.  My wife uses it to drive back and forth to Guanshan every day, so it's usually just me and my bike.  I really don't care if that thing's clean or not.  If it works, great.  If it's dirty, it's not a problem for me.  不.  我不洗我們的車.  我很少開它.  我太太每天利用它到關山, 我通常騎單車.  我不在乎車子是髒的還是乾淨的.  可以開就好了.  它很髒也沒有關係.

My car, the Nissan Tiida.  In the States known as the Versa.

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Me, Five Years Ago 五年前的我
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Me, Ten Years Ago 十年前的我

*Any comments on the above?  Feel free to offer insights as to how I could improve myself as a person, or else offer your own answers to the above questions in the comment section below...

2016年9月14日 星期三

Me, Thirty-Five Years Ago 三十五年前的我


In 1981 I was six years old.  I was living with my mother in West Seattle.  My father had just left us, and I think my mother was working in a mail room somewhere.  1981年的時候六歲,  跟媽媽一起住在西雅圖的西區.  我爸爸剛離開我們.  我媽媽應該是在一個郵件收發室上班.

My memory of that time is very hazy.  This is to be expected, as I was only six years old.  If I think very hard, I can remember a few details, but nothing very important.  我忘記很多那個時候的事情了.  當然忘記了; 我那時候才六歲.  如果我努力回想, 可以想起一些細節, 只是都不是很重要的事情.

I was a student at Cooper Elementary School, which was not far from the house where we lived.  I can remember visiting a book fair there, and being fascinated by a book about aliens.  I opened the book to a page featuring the "men in black," and wondered why they would choose to live in the center of the Earth.  Wasn't it hot down there?  我那時候在Cooper國小就學.  那國小離我們家不遠.  我記得那時候去了學校書展, 找到一本關於外星人的書.  我打開書中的一頁是介紹 "黑衣人" , 當時覺得很奇怪,   他們為什麼要住在地心?  住在那裏不會很熱嗎?

I also remember running around the school playground, with a friend whose name I can't recall.  There were a bunch of girls chasing us.  At one point they surrounded us, and then decided to lift up their skirts.  Why they chose to do this we had no idea.  我也記得在操場跑來跑去, 跟一位我忘了名字的同學玩.  還有一群女同學在追我們兩個.  她們抓到我們的時候, 把裙子拉上來, 給我們看內褲.  我們那時候搞不懂她們為什麼要這麼做.

Cooper Elementary School

There was a park near Cooper Elementary.  In the park there was some kind of community center, and on Halloween the community center set up a haunted house made of cardboard boxes.  I remember being scared when I was inside.  我的國小附近有一座公園.  公園裡有一棟社區中心.  萬聖節的時候社區中心的人用很多盒子做一個小鬼屋.  我記得鬼屋裡面很可怕.

There were also these neighbor boys.  I think they were in high school.  They kept sitting on my mom's car.  I have no idea why, but I remember this being a problem.  還有住在我們家附近的那些男生.  他們大概是高中生.  他們很喜歡坐在我媽的車上面.  我不知道原因, 可是我記得這是一件令人頭痛的事情.

Which reminds me that my mom drove a yellow Opel.  This yellow Opel didn't have power steering, and I can still remember the smell of the leather seats.  If you've never driven a car without power steering, let me tell you that it's a lot of work.  這件事也讓我想起那時候我媽媽開一輛黃色歐寶的車.  那輛歐寶的車沒有動力方向盤.  我還記得車裡真皮座椅的味道.  我跟你講, 開沒有動力方向盤的車很累!

And there was my mother's good friend, Barbara, who lived in a house next door to us.  I was friends with Barbara's daughter, Trudy.  Sometimes Trudy and I would sit on the front steps of her house, and Trudy would eat their dog's food from a big bag.  I asked her why she wanted to do this, but I don't remember her answer.  還有我媽媽的好朋友Barbara.  她住在我們隔壁.  我跟Barbara的女兒Trudy是朋友.  有時候我跟Trudy會坐在他們家門前的樓梯, 然後Trudy會吃他們家狗的乾飼料.  我問過她為什麼要做這種事, 可是我忘記她的回答了.


Around that time I discovered an extremely explicit centerfold under a bush near our house.  I recall feeling very confused by the woman's genitals.  I brought the centerfold back home, and asked my mom about it.  She grew very embarrassed, and threw it in the trash. 那時候我也發現家附近的小樹下有一張 "什麼都可看的到" 的成人雜誌照片.  我看到圖中小姐的秘密地方, 也覺得很好奇.  我把雜誌照片帶回家, 問我媽媽一些健康教育問題, 可是我媽媽覺得很丟臉, 就把照片丟掉了.

In the summer of that year, my mom drove me down to a diner in southern Washington state, and from that diner my grandmother picked me up, and took me down to her house in Bay City, Oregon.  I spent my summers in Bay City until I was out of elementary school.  那一年暑假, 我媽開車帶我去華盛頓州的南部, 然後我外婆在那邊的一家餐廳接我.  她帶我去她俄勒岡州灣城的家, 那後我在那裡過暑假.  直到我念國中的時候我們暑假都這樣子.

Later I met my stepdad for the first time.  I remember thinking that he was the kindest man I'd ever met.  He was sitting in our living room, and my mom was telling me that we were going to live in his house.  I was also going to have a new stepbrother, Jeff.  I was ok with all of these things.  之後沒多久, 我第一次跟我繼父見面.  我記得我想著他是世界上最善良的人.  他坐在我們的客廳, 然後我媽跟我說我們兩個要去住在他家.  我也會有一個新弟弟叫Jeff.  我記得那時候完全同意這件事情.

I called him "Tom" back then.  It's funny to think about now.  我那時候叫他 "Tom."  現在想想蠻好笑的.


I remember having a lot of T-shirts with their own slogans.  Things like "My Mom Loves Me... I'm an Angel!" and crap like that.  I suppose I only wore them because my mom liked them.  我記得那時候我有很多 "標語" 的T恤.  T恤上的 "標語" 是 "我媽媽愛我... 我是個天使!" 那種話.  我穿那種T恤的原因應該是我媽很喜歡.

That's about it.  Like I say, I was six.  我那時候留下來的回憶差不多這樣子.  我才六歲而已.

If you look up 1981 on Wikipedia, you'll also discover that Raiders of the Lost Ark was the biggest movie, "Bette Davis Eyes" was the biggest song, Frogger debuted in the video arcades, and John Byrne was probably the biggest name in comics.  Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan were Presidents of the U.S., and Chiang Ching-kuo was President of Taiwan.  如果用維基百科找1981年的事, 你會發現那一年 "法櫃奇兵" 是最受歡迎的電影, "Bette Davis Eyes"是最受歡迎的歌曲, "青蛙過河" 是最受歡迎的電動玩具, 還有John Byrne是最受歡迎的漫畫家.  卡特跟雷根是當時的美國總統, 還有蔣經國在台灣當總統.

But of course I don't remember any of those things.  I was only six, after all.  當然我不記得那些事情.  我才六歲!


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