2024年5月19日 星期日

The Year I Hated Taiwan


I'd like to say that if you live in Taiwan, citizen or not, you're under no obligation to love it all the time.  No place on this Earth is heaven, and no country is perfect, and of course there are times when we're not fond of the place we're living in, when we compare it unfavorably to any number of other places throughout the world.

I'd also like to say that yes, at the time of writing I do like Taiwan.  I've lived here for almost 24 years now, and I vastly prefer living here to living in my own country.  Yes, some parts of life in Taiwan still annoy me, but I never question why I'm here or whether or not I should move elsewhere.

This hasn't always been the case, however.  Back in 2008 I didn't like Taiwan very much, if at all, and toward the end of the 2007-2008 school year I even decided to leave it.

My decision to leave wasn't all down to disliking Taiwan.  Looking back at it now, I realize that my thinking about both my family in the States and my in-laws in Taiwan had become very confused.  This was partly because I wasn't getting a lot of social interaction back then.  It was also due to the fact that I had my head in a lot of Chinese books from which I was extracting certain values about family and filial piety.  It sounds ridiculous, but at the time I thought it was my duty to go back and either help take care of my parents or assume a more hands-on role in my side of the family.  Such ideas seem laughable to me now, but I wasn't in the best head space in 2008.

Part of the reason for my confusion, I now realize, was the junior high school where I was working.  I really underestimated the effect working with 13 and 14 year olds had on me, and in the course of two years at Tunghai Junior High I'd picked up not only an extreme sense of dissatisfaction but also an adolescent sense of alienation into the bargain.

You'll see this sense of alienation in a lot of junior high school teachers.  We're around kids on the cusp of adulthood, kids trying to find out who they are and what kind of person they're going to be.  Kids at that age are often rude, they push against boundaries, and it's only natural that in the course of a school year their teachers begin to mirror some of their less attractive qualities.  I had this (literally) brought home to me not long ago, when my wife chastised me for "talking like one of my students."  After she said this I quickly realized that I had unconsciously borrowed some of my students' less gracious mannerisms, and that bringing such mannerisms home isn't usually a good thing.

Bringing home mannerisms is one problem, but absorbing that adolescent sense of alienation and uncertainty is a whole other other kettle of fish.  Returning to 2008, what was I, a foreign English teacher, going to do with that sense of alienation and uncertainty?  What would be its object?  Why of course its first object would be the kids I was teaching, but from there it ballooned outward to include my coworkers, the city where I lived, and finally to Taiwan as a whole.

From the vantage point of 2024 it's easy to think about this change in perspective objectively, but in 2008 it was another story.  I suppose part of my difficulty was that I was new to teaching junior high school, and I underestimated the effect my students would have on me.  Soon enough problems with individual students became problems with all of the students, and problems with all of the students became issues with various coworkers that were never easily resolved.  After that point I became unsatisfied with Taitung, the city I'd moved to, and after that I was unhappy with Taiwan, the island where I'd lived for five years up to that point.

When you focus on anything so intently you'll begin to see it everywhere.  Already disposed to see the faults in Taiwan, they multiplied to the point where I couldn't see any point in staying.  Trash on the roads?  It was omnipresent.  Dangerous traffic?  I saw near-death experiences at every intersection.  Hot and humid weather?  No set of clothes was ever comfortable enough.  People staring at me?  I became fixated on these things to the point of distraction. 

Then there's the issue that many foreigners living in Taiwan obsess over: Taiwan's relationship with China.  I became convinced that invasion was imminent, just as I was equally convinced that Taiwan was going to somehow "give up the ghost" and relinquish its independence for the sake of appeasing Beijing.  I couldn't see a collective will in any aspect of Taiwanese politics, and in the absence of that I figured that China, with all its strident nationalism, was going to take over one way or another.

I'd really grown quite hysterical.  I smile at this stuff now, but back then I was dead serious about it.  And what makes it even funnier to me is how several foreign friends have gone down similar routes, leading to their own moves back to the US, Canada or elsewhere.  I'm not saying that all of the worries expressed above aren't things that we don't need to take into consideration, but you have to be aware of how a sense of alienation and a fixation on the negative aspects of where you live color your perspective.  You have to realize that this same sense of "being foreign" (i.e. not belonging) affects both how you view the place you live in and how you view your role within it.

My feelings toward Taiwan having reached a fever pitch, soon enough I was on a plane with my wife and two daughters, headed back to the States.  At that time my wife still had her green card, so immigrating to the USA wasn't difficult.  My wife, to her credit, went willingly, though she had some reservations about the move.  Her uncertainty was to some extent mediated by the fact that we hadn't really lived (i.e. supported ourselves) in the States up to that point, and the glowing pictures I painted of our future in the US went a long way to convincing her to take a chance on America.  I can see now that it was really myself I was trying to convince with those glowing pictures, but of course I didn't see that at the time.

You might recall that 2007-2008 wasn't a good year for the U.S. economy.  This was around the time of the housing crisis memorialized in the movie The Big Short.  Just go back and watch the depressing photo montage near the end of that movie -- that's right around the time we were on a plane, ready to start our new lives in Seattle.

Despite the odds my wife and I both managed to find jobs there.  I got hired as a math and sometime substitute teacher, she began working as a manager in a downtown hotel.  We were making decent money, working on saving enough to move out of my parents' house, and I suppose that if we'd loved Seattle more all of that would have been fine.

But Seattle had changed a lot in the years since I'd actually lived there.  And even if Seattle hadn't changed, Taiwan had made me into a different kind of person.  I found that I just couldn't enjoy Seattle the way I had when I was in my 20s.  I liked it well enough, but there was something missing.  Exacerbating this feeling was the fact that we couldn't ever save enough money, and that my job as a teacher was far from secure.

As that year went on, I also noticed that my hate for Taiwan was fading.  I began to miss the most random things, like the sound of the doors opening in a 7-11 or the rumble of scooters idling at traffic lights.  Seattle seemed so dark and drained of color next to my memories of Taiwan.  The Chinese food we ate was never as good as what we ate here, the people in Seattle were polite but less friendly, and the excitement of Seattle at night paled in comparison to an evening in Taipei, Taichung or Kaohsiung.

Etc., etc,. etc.  I struggled on like that for a while, until -- you guessed it -- my wife and I began talking about going back and restarting the lives we'd left behind.  Perhaps she'd been waiting me out the entire time, knowing that once the reality of Seattle sunk in I'd be eager to leave it.  Perhaps she knew that going back to Seattle was just something I had to do, and that once I'd learned to dislike parts of it again I'd be ready to come back to Taiwan.

At some point in April, May or June we began talking to my parents about going back to the place I thought I'd despised just months previous.  I can't say my parents were very surprised when I the subject came up.  And of course from talking we progressed to buying plane tickets, contacting old friends and coworkers in Taitung, and making other preparations.  I took a job at an elementary school not far from the junior high where I'd worked, and before the summer ended the four of of us were arriving in Taoyuan International Airport, ready to give Taiwan another try.

It was an expensive lesson, but one I had to learn.  I realize now that you have to guard against building up too much animosity toward the place where you live, that nurturing that sense of alienation is never good.  I've since learned -- I hope -- to forgive Taiwan for its faults, and to not grudge it for its occasional failings.  Because every place has its failings, no matter how idyllic it might seem from the outside.

All of that was almost 16 years ago now.  Since then my daughters have grown up and are living on their own.  My life, however, really isn't that different from what it was in 2008.  The only big difference is how I see things, and with my readiness to find fault with the country I live in.

If you've found happiness in another country after living in Taiwan, great.  You'll get no judgement from me for it.  But if, like me, you've lived here for a length of time, be careful about holding grudges against Taiwan, especially if you're simultaneously idealizing the country you came from.  There's no perfect place to be found on this Earth, save perhaps the one we make with those we love and care for.

Related Entries:


NOTE: I hope I'm not repeating myself here.  I feel like I've discussed this episode in my life before, but I don't think it's been the subject of a blog entry.  I've been writing this blog since 2009, the year after I returned to Taiwan.

2024年5月12日 星期日

鳳山新城 , 鳳山 Fengshan's "New City"


鳳山原名陂頭 , 清代屬鳳山縣大竹里 .  乾隆五十一年 (一七八六) , 林爽文事變 , 南部莊大田響應 , 兩次攻陷鳳山縣縣治 (今左營) , 事後 , 清廷乃遷鳳山縣治於陂頭 , 植刺竹以為城垣 , 並建縣署 , 是為 "新城" .  嘉慶九年 (一八0四) , 知縣吳兆麟以石建六座城門 , 分別為大東門 (朝陽門) , 小東門 (鳳儀門 , 又稱東便門) , 西門 (景華門) , 南門 (安化門) , 北門 (平朔門) , 北門外郭之門 "郡南第一關" .  六門門壁上皆繪有龍虎圖案 , 以壯聲勢 .  一般而言 , 縣級的城牆只有四門 , 鳳山之所以多了一個 "東便門" , 實在是因為本地變亂甚多 , 由於縣署及火藥庫位於城東 , 在軍事用途的考量下及便於官眷的疏散 , 所以另開了一個小東門 .  由於海盜蔡牽侵擾台灣 , 其部將吳淮泗攻陷新城 , 左營地方人士乃運作將縣治重新移回舊城 .  未幾 , 知縣杜紹祈於任內病逝 , 舊城被視為不祥之地 , 遂又遷回新城 . Fengshan was originally named Pitou.  During the Qing Dynasty it was part of Dazhu District. (1)  

During the 51st year of Emperor Qianlong's reign (1786) an uprising led by Lin Shuang-wen led to a similar uprising by Zhuang Da-tian in the south, both of which led to the capture of the government seat in Zuoying on two separate occasions.  After these events the Qing authorities moved the local government to Pitou, using a screen of thorny bamboo as a fortification.  A provincial government building was then constructed, and this came to be called the "new city."

In the 9th year of Emperor Jiaqing's reign (1804), the provincial magistrate Wu Zhao-lin built six city gates in stone, these being the Big East Gate (Chaoyang Gate), the Little East Gate (Fengyi Gate), the West Gate (Jinghua Gate), the South Gate (Anhua Gate), the North Gate (Pingshuo Gate) and the County Gate beyond the North Gate, also known as "the first county gate in the south."

The walls of the six gates were all painted with dragon and tiger patterns to make them more pleasing to the eye.  Most fortified provincial cities only have four gates, but the provincial government at Fengshan had a fifth gate to the east [not counting the County Gate] as a means of dealing with local disturbances.  The administration buildings and the gunpowder depot were located to the east of the city, and the Little East Gate was used for both military use and the evacuation of officials and their families [in times of distress].

After the pirate Tsai Qian assaulted Taiwan, his general Wu Huai-sse captured the New City.  Local people in Zuoying then began working toward moving the government seat back to Zuoying.  [Unfortunately for them] the provincial magistrate Du Shao-qi died while in office, and the "old city" [in Zuoying] came to be regarded as an "unlucky" place.  [For this reason] the government seat was moved back to the "new city."

道光十八年 (一八三八) , 知縣曹謹在新城城門上加建城樓 , 並在城牆四隅築砲台六座 , 城外開挖濠溝 .  咸豐四年 (一八五四) , 南路參將曾元福將原刺竹牆垣改為土牆 .  外圍仍環植刺竹 , 但土牆於光緒十八年 (一八九二) 倒塌 , 地方官員乃命人重修 . In the 18th year of Emperor Daoguang's reign (1838), the magistrate Tsao Jin built a tower over the [main] New City gate, added cannon emplacements around the four corners of the city wall, and had a moat dug outside the New City.  In the fourth year of Emperor Xianfeng's reign (1854), South Road Chief Dzeng Wen-fu replaced the original thorny bamboo wall with a wall made of earth.  The thorny bamboo wall remained planted around the perimeter of the fortification, but the earthen wall collapsed during the 18th year of Emperor Guangxu's reign (1892).  Local officials later ordered it rebuilt.

日劇時代 , 城牆及城門均遭拆除 , 至今只剩東便門及城外濠溝留存 .  矗立在鳳山市三民路四十巷中之東便門 , 經整修後已不復原有之樣貌 .  不但城樓已不知去向 , 整座城門還用水泥重新舖過 , 並刻意凸顯一小塊一小塊石頭模樣 , 好似軍營中之碉堡 .  門洞上方有一石匾 , 書 "東便門" 三字 , 為後人整修時以水泥鑄成 , 紅底金字 , 古味盡失 . The New City's walls and gates were demolished during the Japanese Colonial Administration, with only the Little East Gate and the moat/canal outside the New City left in place.  The Little East Gate, which now stands on Lane 40, Sanmin Road, in Fengshan District (2), has lost its original appearance due to subsequent "renovations."  In addition, the city tower [which stood above it] is gone, and the remaining gate has been resurfaced with concrete.  Small pieces of stone [on the gate's exterior] have been highlighted to make the structure look like a blockhouse in a military camp.  There's a stone plaque above the gate with the words "Little East Gate," but the ancient inscriptions [once present on the gate] -- gold characters on a red background -- disappeared long ago. (3)

門洞下方有道路通過 , 可連接三民路與鎮東街 .  東便門前有一東福橋 , 窄窄的橋面僅能容二部機車並行 .  底下汩汩而流的鳳山溪為昔日之護城河 , 如今水色如墨 , 今人不忍卒睹 .  東福橋為台灣唯一殘留下來的中國式石橋 .  其橋下六角形之橋礅甚有特色 , 其上舖以石板供通行之用 , 可惜光復後竟用鋼筋水泥將之補強 , 並加上紅色鐵欄杆 , 實為古蹟保存之錯誤示範 .  There's a road passing through the gate, connecting Sanmin Road and Zhendong Street.  In front of the Little East Gate is the Dongfu Bridge, which is so narrow that only two scooters, riding in parallel, can pass over it at any time.  The Fengshan River, gurgling underneath [the bridge] follows the course of the moat that was once there.  It's inky black now, which makes it difficult to look at.  (4)

The Dongfu Bridge is the only remaining Chinese-style stone bridge in Taiwan.  The hexagonal supports under the bridge are very distinctive.  It's been covered in stone slabs to accommodate traffic.  After liberating Taiwan [from the Japanese], the current government reinforced the bridge with concrete, and added red railings along its length, making the Dongfu Bridge an unfortunate example of how not to preserve a historic site. (5)

當年北門外郭 "郡南第一關" 之門額如今被收藏在舊高雄縣政府縣長室外 , 而東門門額則保存於曹公祠內 , 近來又在昔日各城門舊址立柱 . The plaque formerly outside the North Gate which reads "the first county gate in the south" is now kept outside the Magistrate's Office in the old Kaohsiung County Government building, while the plaque formerly outside the East Gate is kept within Tsaogong Temple.  Recently pillars have been erected at the sites of the old city gates.

道光十八年 (一八三八) 鳳山知縣曹謹於鳳山新城的城牆四隅構築六座砲台 , 現今尚有三座被保留下來 . In the 18th year of Emperor Daoguang's reign (1838), Tsao Jin, the Magistrate of the Fengshan Provincial Government, built six cannon emplacements at the corners of the Fengshan New City walls.  Three of these have endured to the present day.

位在曹公路二十五之三號之平成砲台 , 為鳳山新城西北隅之砲台 .  其結構體呈四方形 , 高約五公尺 , 台基係以咾咕石與三合土壘積而成 , 上有雉堞 .  西南北三面各有二個觀測孔 , 內寬外窄 , 孔後為砲位 , 安放三千斤以下大砲各一 , 東側則設紅磚階梯以供登臨 . The Pingcheng Cannon Emplacement can be found on Tsaogong Road #25-3.  It was the fortification at the northwest corner of the Fengshan New City.  It's square in shape and about five meters high.  The base of this emplacement was made of a traditional mixture of sand and soil, with a walled area on top.  There are two observation holes each for the south, west and north sides of the emplacement, all of which are wide on the inside and narrow on the outside.  Behind each of the pairs of holes are spaces for cannons weighing less than 3000 KG.  This emplacement can be accessed via a red brick staircase on the east side.

平成砲台目前由高雄水利會鳳山工作站負責管理 , 整體而言大致維持昔日舊貌 .  砲台後方有一棵老榕 , 枝葉及氣根向外攀爬 , 給這粗線條的建物增添了幾許柔和 .  而正面壁上刻有 "平成" 二字之橫匾 , 質材為花崗石 , 在一塊塊咾咕石顆粒中 , 更顯得莊嚴 . The Pingcheng Cannon Emplacement is currently maintained by both the Kaohsiung Irrigation Association and the Fengshan Work Station.  It retains its original appearance.  There's an old banyan tree behind the emplacement which has grown outward over the structure, softening its rigid appearance.  On the front of the emplacement there's a plaque reading "Pingcheng."  This plaque is made of granite and looks even more solemn than the emplacement itself.

鳳山新城西南隅之砲台為澄瀾砲台 , 地處復興路與立志街口 .  早些年砲台僅存幾面牆垣 , 附近居民不但將其佔用 , 還以水泥紅磚任意加蓋 , 導致澄瀾砲台處在屋簷鋼柱之間 .  但刻有 "澄瀾" 二字之花崗石橫匾猶存 , 只是被前方之福德正祠擋住 , 需費一番功夫才能尋獲 . The cannon emplacement at the southwest corner of the Fengshan New City is the Chenglan Cannon Emplacement.  It's located at the intersection of Fuxing Road and Lizhi Street.  Early on much of this emplacement was eroded or dismantled.  Not only did some residents occupy the structure, but others covered it with red cement bricks.  What is left of the Chenglan Cannon Emplacement is located between two steel pillars.  A long horizontal plaque with the words "Chenglan" engraved upon remains at the site, but it's obstructed by the main part of the Fude Temple complex.  It's difficult to find.

至於僅剩一片弧狀牆垣的訓風砲台 , 位於中山路五巷八號前 , 為當年城牆東南隅之砲台 .  雖然已成斷垣殘壁 , 但訓風砲台正面刻有 "訓風" 兩字的橫額周邊 , 其浮彫裝飾仍相當清晰 , 不知情者恐怕會誤認為此乃從前大戶人家之遺址 . As for the Shunfeng Cannon Emplacement there was only a curved wall remaining [prior to renovations].  This curved wall is to be found in front of #8 Lane 5 Zhongshan Road.  It was the emplacement at the southeast corner of the New City wall.  Even though it was [previously little more than] a ruin, you could still see the engraving which read "Shunfeng" on the front of the structure very clearly.  Those less versed in local history might have thought this engraving referred to some wealthy family that lived there in the past.

民國八十七年 , 高雄縣政府為了維護古蹟 , 將澄瀾砲台周邊違建拆除 ,附近闢為綠地 , 並以相同之石材修補訓風 , 澄瀾兩砲台 .  目前這三座砲台都呈現煥然一新之貌 , 堪稱地方特色 . On the 87th year on the Republic of China calendar [1998], the Kaohsiung County Government demolished illegal buildings around the Chenglan Cannon Emplacement to protect the historic site there.  A green space was opened up around this site, and both the Chenglan and Shunfeng emplacements were restored with the same type of stone.  All three emplacements have since been given brand new looks which accord well with the local surroundings.

Related Entries 相關的文章:

Kaohsiung in the News 高雄的新聞 (East 東) 5

NOTE 1: The Chinese text above was taken from "A History of Taiwanese Fortified Cities in Pictures" 圖說  台灣古城史 , published by 遠足文化 Walkers Cultural in 2014.  The Chinese was written by 載震宇 and the English was written by me.

NOTE 2: If you're looking for local history, the Fengyi Academy 鳳儀書院 is in the same area.  It's the Qing Dynasty equivalent of the American one-room schoolhouse.  It's been heavily "restored," but it does offer further insight into the time period.

1. I sometimes translate 里 as "village," sometimes as "district."  Since talking about one village as being part of another village is confusing, I opted for "district" in this instance.  Needless to say, 里 just refers to an administrative division.

2. The Chinese here reads "Fengshan City."

3. More of an ancient "flavor."  These inscriptions would have only dated back to the early 1800s, not sure if that qualifies as "ancient."

4. I linked the three places to their locations on Google Maps.  They're very close to one another, and if it's not too hot you could probably walk there from the Dadong 大東 MRT stop.  The picture above, by the way, is the Little East Gate.

5. Are we sure that it's the only remaining example of a Chinese-style stone bridge in Taiwan?  I dunno, that would be a tough one to research.  I seem to remember reading about other Chinese-style bridges in Kaohsiung and elsewhere, but maybe the other is using his own criteria.

Kaohsiung in the News 高雄的新聞 (East 東) 5


There are 38 districts in Kaohsiung City.  The districts discussed here are all east of the Formosa Freeway (#3).  They're much more rural than districts west of the Formosa Freeway, have a much lower population density, and are generally more scenic. 高雄市分為38個行政區 。  這裡文章討論的行政區都位在福爾摩沙高速公路以東 ,  這些行政區和高速公路以西的行政區比較起來: 較鄉下 、人口密度較低 、風景比較好。



1a. No recent news out of Tianliao.



2a. Qishan and Sanmin districts went without water last week.  The water utility is undertaking maintenance and improvement work involving both a water purification plant and local sewers.  Over twenty thousand residents were affected by the stoppage. 高雄旗山 , 三民區5/8停水  影響2萬1500戶

2b. While some are hoping for an extension of the proposed purple MRT Line into Qishan, other residents have put forth a plan to extend regular train service into Qishan and Meinong districts. 遲遲等不到高捷 !  旗山居民自發提案  台鐵支線延伸旗美 (1)

2c. A community in Qishan wrapped 600 rice tamales to give to disadvantaged residents. 旗山社區包600創意毛豆粽贈弱勢



3a. No recent news out of Neimen.



4a. A Hakka religious procession and related ceremonies took place in Meinong.  It is hoped that the ritual observances will ensure a good harvest and also good scores on upcoming examinations. 高雄美濃  "迎聖蹟" 儀式展開 (2)

4b. The Meinong District Farmer's Association and other organizations in and around Meinong received subsidies from the government which they used to purchase equipment used to process rice.  A ceremony was held in Meinong to celebrate the acquisition of this equipment. 高埔頂米廠變身  大高雄 "榖物運籌中心" 啟用

4c. Kaohsiung City Mayor Chen Qi-mai and several other officials visited Meinong to inspect flood control measures in that area.  The local government recently received 75 million NT from the central government to improve water pumping and dredging equipment in Meinong. 陳其邁視察美濃區三洽水滯洪池防汛整備



5a. American students studying Chinese at Wenzao University visited schools in Shanlin as part of a cultural exchange program. 美政府選派高中生赴文藻學華語  與偏鄉國小生交流

5b. A Formosan sambar deer was spotted in Shanlin.  Such a sighting at so low an altitude is unusual. 台灣水鹿激增往低海拔移動 !  在海拔150公尺  高雄杉林區被拍到



6a. There's a new water park for children in Liouguei.  It's located in the Baolai Hot Spring Area, and opens Saturdays and Sundays. 來東高雄戲水  六龜山城水樂園登場



7a. Due to recent temperature fluctuations this year's mango harvest hasn't been great.  Mango farmers in Maolin have been hard hit by this development, and as a way of addressing this situation the Department of Agriculture has approved loans to local farmers reporting lower crop yields. 高雄市改良種芒果及茂林區本地種芒果  開花著果不佳  農損救助即日起受理

7b. The Maolin National Scenic Area Management Office and the Aboriginal Family Service Center in Pingtung County have been working together to host cultural exchange activities between members of different tribal groups.  The goal of these activities is helping children and members of disadvantaged groups learn more about both their own culture and local industries. 茂管處邀瑪家小孩訪部落



8a. A reading and walking activity reflecting both the area's Hakka culture, its aboriginal culture and also its bygone camphor industry took place in Jiaxian. 探秘歷史脈絡  客家悅讀節獵人引領  深入原客交融的歷史現場



9a. The tea crop in Taoyuan and Namaxia districts has also taken a hit thanks to temperature fluctuations.  Farmers in these two districts are also eligible for loans. 高雄茶葉 (桃源及那瑪夏區) , 香瓜 (岡山 , 路竹及橋頭) 及西瓜 (岡山及路竹區) 農損救助受理申報



10a. The National Bunun Tribal Archery Festival was held in Namaxia. 全國布農族射耳祭在高雄那瑪夏

10b. Peaches and other produce grown in Namaxia were sold at a charity event held in Qianzhen District, also in Kaohsiung City.  The peaches sold out in record time. 義賣那瑪夏水蜜桃雙破紀錄  高市鎮東里長蔡川士 : 賺到了 "開心"

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1. It's all down to population density.  Of course some people there are going to complain when they aren't included in any infrastructure project, but the population in Qishan and Meinong has been declining, and extending the MRT system into that area seems impractical.  I could see a train line, however. 

2. Scholarship is highly valued in Hakka culture.  There are many rituals and other religious observances linked to passing examinations.