What's Going On the Seventh Floor of My Apartment Building 我大樓7樓發生了什麼事
The garbage truck is coming. 垃圾車快到了.
Oh, wait. I'm sorry. That wasn't emphatic enough. 喔! 等一下. 不好意思, 我說的太小聲.
THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING!!! OH MY GOD THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING!!! EVERYBODY RUN TO THE ELEVATORS, BECAUSE THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING!!! 垃圾車快到了!!! 我的天, 垃圾車快到了!!! 大家趕快去搭電梯, 因為垃圾車快到了!!!
There, that's better. 好, 這樣子好多了.
...and, aside from the garbage truck coming, what else is going on the seventh floor of my apartment building? 除了垃圾車快到了之外, 在我們大樓七樓還發生了什麼事?
Well, for one thing, the nice lady that lives down the hall isn't home yet. She works at Chu Lu Ranch, and she usually gets home right after the garbage truck arrives. What does she do with her garbage, I wonder? Does she store it in her house? Does she consort with other garbage trucks, on other roads, at other times of day? How does she do it? 我在想走廊另外一邊的公寓的小姐還沒到家. 她在初鹿牧場上班, 她通常在垃圾車走掉之後才回到家. 我不知道她怎麼處理她的垃圾, 她把垃圾儲藏在家裡? 她在不同的時間丟? 在其他的馬路丟? 或丟在其他的垃圾車嗎? 她到底怎麼處理她的垃圾?
By the smell of frying fish I know that "Weird Guy," her next door neighbor, is home. Weird Guy lives all alone, except for the "special days" on which his "special lady friend" comes to visit him (for a fee, I think). Everyone in our building hates Weird Guy, and Weird Guy hates everyone in our building. Weird Guy used to be a taxi driver, but now he's in construction. Weird Guy used to walk around his apartment nude in the summer, with only the screen door to partially conceal his nakedness. If Weird Guy is waiting for the elevator and sees anyone coming, he'll pretend he wasn't waiting for the elevator at all, and he'll start walking around the downstairs courtyard. 聞到炸魚的味道, 所以我知道初鹿牧場的小姐的鄰居(Weird Guy)在家. Weird Guy自己一個人住那間公寓, 但偶爾會有一位 "特別的小姐" 來他的公寓 (應該是要付費的那種小姐). 我們大樓所有的住戶討厭Weird Guy, Weird Guy也很討厭我們大樓所有的住戶. 以前Weird Guy是計程車司機, 現在則忙著建造業的工作. 以前夏天的時候, Weird Guy在公寓裡沒穿衣服走來走去, 只隔道紗門遮掩他的赤身露體. 如果Weird Guy在一樓等電梯並看到其他住戶走近電梯, Weird Guy就假裝不等電梯, 只在一樓大廳散步而已.
On the other side of Weird Guy there's a nice man who I sometimes talk to in the elevator. Yes, after dumping the damn garbage in the damn truck. This man is nice but he's extremely shy, and we never have that much to say to each other. I have the feeling he is or was a college professor somewhere, but I'm not sure if this is only an impression or because of something someone told me. Weird Guy的另外一邊有一位很客氣的先生. 我有時候在電梯裡跟他講話. 對了, 在把可惡的垃圾丟進可惡的垃圾車之後, 這個先生很客氣, 可是他非常害羞, 所以我們二個人對彼此都沒什麼好說的. 我想他曾經或者現在是哪裡的教授, 可是不知道這是我的感覺或是其他人跟我講的.
Next door to me there's a couple with a dog. The woman is nice, but she seems like the kind of person with low self-esteem. Her husband (boyfriend?) seems to be doing his military service. Either that, or he just likes wearing camouflage. They have a thin neurotic dog that lives in their doorway, and this dog is very curious about the cats that live in our apartment. The nice woman with the seemingly low self-esteem works in one of the Taitung County Government offices, though I'm not sure which one. I don't know if they're home now or not. 我們家隔壁是一對男女和一隻狗. 那位小姐很客氣, 也像有點自卑的那種人. 她的先生 (還是男朋友?) 好像在當兵. 他如果不是當兵就是喜歡穿迷彩服, 我不知道. 他們二個的狗又瘦又怕人, 也很好奇我們家裡的貓. 這位很客氣的小姐在縣政府某一個處室上班, 我不知道是哪一個, 我也不知道他們現在在不在家.
A family lives down the hall. I don't know them at all. They just moved in not long ago. They have small children, and an older girl who I see in the elevator during THE TIMES WHEN THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING OH MY GOD THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING. 有個家庭住在走廊的盡頭. 我不認識他們. 他們剛搬進去那間公寓. 他們有小孩, 我在"天啊!垃圾車快到了的時候"在電梯裡見到年紀比較大的女兒.
And that's just my half of the building. There's a whole other half that you can only reach by going over the roof, or going downstairs and taking the other elevator up to the seventh floor. 這些人都住在我這一半的7樓. 還有另外一半. 到那一半的7樓要走上去屋頂或是下樓坐另外一邊的電梯上7樓.
But I don't know any of the people living on the other half of the seventh floor. At least I think I don't. I might have talked to one of them while... waiting for the garbage truck. 但是我不認識7樓另外一邊的住戶. 至少我覺得是這樣子. 很可能我等垃圾車的時候跟其中一二個講過幾句話.
Which reminds me: THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS COMING. 講等垃圾車這件事讓我想到: 垃圾車快到了!
I'd better go. 我得走了.
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