2019年11月6日 星期三

Retrospective 懷舊的 3: Nostalgia 思鄉情懷

For the "Retrospective" entries I'll be revisiting posts from ten years ago.  The post referenced below is from 2009. 在這些 "懷舊的" 文章裡看十年前的文章.  下列的文章是2009年寫的.

The original version of "Nostalgia 思鄉情懷" is to be found in the Blog Archive 2 entry.  I've added comments below the italicized text. 原本的 "Nostalgia 思鄉情懷" 在Blog Archive 很久很久以前的文章 2的文章.  我在每一段下面加入新的意見.

"Nostalgia can be a dangerous thing. It can lend a pleasure to past events that never existed in fact. It makes the past look better than it really was. It is, after all, so easy to look back and see how much better the past was in comparison to the present time. By the same token, it is just as easy to remember places I have lived before, and to see only their advantages over where I live now.緬懷過去有時是件不好的事,因為很多時候懷念的可能是自己添加的情感想像,過去不一定是你記憶中那麼美好的樣子,我有時會比較現在與之前住過的地方,但是發現會懷念只是因為我忘了當初為什麼會離開的理由."

Yeah all of that's true.  It's a symptom of growing older, and also something to be wary of.  A lot of people enshrine a certain period of their lives - a time when everything was "better" - without thinking about how doing so detracts from their enjoyment of the present. 以上是對的.  這是年級變大時會有的症狀, 也是該被注意的.  很多人覺得人生中的某一段時光特別值得留戀, 那段時間的所有事物都"比較好," 可是他們沒想到這種想法讓他們沒辦法好好享受當下.

"I have overindulged this feeling, this sense of nostalgia, on many occasions. Perhaps I was at a party, and I started to think how much better the beer tasted back home. Perhaps I was driving through the country, and I started to miss the national parks near Seattle. Perhaps I was in a restaurant, and I began to miss foods that I cannot get in Taiwan, or friends I used to enjoy meals with.我想我是常犯這種事的人,有時在朋友聚會上開始想念家鄉的啤酒與朋友,有時開車時想念西雅圖附近的國家公園."

With respect to overindulging this feeling, I reached a personal low point in 2007, two years before the original post was written.  At that time nothing in Taiwan was good enough.  I was unhappy with the people, I was unhappy with the food, I was unhappy with my job.  I later came to understand that my attitude was the problem, but it took a while to get there.  2007年的我就處在這樣的情緒低潮,  那是在我寫下"思鄉情懷"的二年前.  那時候我對台灣很不滿意.  我不喜歡這邊的人, 不喜歡這邊的食物, 不喜歡這邊的工作.  我是後來才發現我當時的態度很差, 那時已經距離當時一段時間了.

"So when people ask me what I miss about "home", when people ask me about the place I come from; my first instinct is to guard against nostalgia. This is because I know how easily I am carried away by this feeling. There were times when I found myself on a plane back home, for no other reason than an overindulgence in nostalgia. Even as I arrived in the Seattle airport, I knew that many of the places I was searching for would be gone, and many of the people I missed would be different from how I remembered them.所以有時候朋友問我最想念家鄉的那一點,我會避免自己過度美化那個地方,有時我們回去只是想看看那裡,雖然我知道很多我熟悉的地方可能不像以前那樣,很多朋友也在我離開的這段時間有所改變了."

This is also true.  They say "You can't go home again," and they're right.  Of course the more recently you've lived there the easier it is to fit back into that mode of living, but it's going to be an uphill battle whatever you do. 這一段也沒錯.  有人會說 "你沒辦法回去了." 這句話也沒錯.  當然離開家鄉的時間愈短的人比較容易再過回家鄉的生活方式, 可是無論離開時間的長短,  "回家" 都有某種困難度.

"This said, usually what I miss most about Seattle is the beer. This is not a joke. There are so many kinds of beer there. There are so many kinds of beer in Seattle that you could never get to the end of them. Bars and brewpubs are very welcoming when the weather in Seattle turns cold, and I miss the impressions I retain of those places. Beer always reminds me of home. 我最想念的是西雅圖的啤酒,那裡啤酒種類之多,會讓人感到驚訝,天氣轉涼時,酒吧常常是人們愛去的地方,我喜歡偶爾到酒吧坐坐喝啤酒的那種氣氛.在這裡,啤酒總是提醒我西雅圖的感覺."

I do still miss the beer.  Those citra IPAs are damn good.  My recent favorites are the Hop Valley beers brewed in Eugene, Oregon.  I drank a lot of those last summer. 我還是很想念那裏的啤酒.  那邊的citra IPA很好喝.  我最近喜歡的是尤金奧勒岡州Hop Valley啤酒廠的啤酒.  我這個暑假喝了很多.

"Next to beer, I also miss the wilderness. I love the natural scenery in Taiwan, but when I think of places such as Glacier National Park and Gold Beach, I cannot help but feel a sense of loss. Those great, big, wild places have set the stage for so many adventures, and I miss getting lost within them. Nature in Taiwan isn't always as friendly - it tends to sting and bite a bit more.我想念美國的自然景觀,雖然我也愛臺灣的自然風景,但是像冰河國家公園及黃金海岸這種地方在臺灣是少見的,而且在這裡常常需要擔心蟲咬."

My parents have since moved from Seattle to Port Angeles, Washington.  Port Angeles is on the Olympic Peninsula, just a ferry ride away from Victoria, British Columbia.  While I did enjoy driving to a few scenic destinations last summer, I found the driving part a lot less pleasant.  This was partly because key family members were missing from the drives, and partly because Highway 101, which encircles the Olympic Peninsula, is very congested on summer weekends. 我父母從華
盛頓州的西雅圖搬到盛頓州的安吉利斯港.  安吉利斯港位於奧林匹克半島, 坐船可以去維多利亞英屬哥倫比亞.  我暑假的時候很喜歡去某幾個景點, 可是開車去沒有那麼好玩.  部分的問題是因為有的家人沒辦法陪我去, 還有部分的問題是奧林匹克半島的101公道在周末的時候常常塞車.

I did love running around Port Angeles though, especially down through the Klallam Reservation and back up toward Highway 101.  On one end there was the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and on the other end there were the Olympic Mountains.  THAT was a great view. 可是我很喜歡在安吉利斯港跑步, 特別喜歡跑進Klallam族的部落之後跑上101公路.  一邊可以看到Strait of Juan de Fuca海景, 一邊可以看到奧林匹克山脈.  風景如畫.

"I also miss my friends and family, but not as much as you might think. I have, after all, a family here as well, and if I miss anyone in Seattle too much I can always call them up. I can't call up beers on the phone, or have conversations with national parks, and so I find myself missing these inanimate things more. No phone line can put me at Fisherman's Terminal with a tray of fish and chips in my hand, and no internet connection can adequately describe the view from the tops of the Siskiyous. These are the things I really miss, because they are farthest away from where I am now.雖然我也想念我在那裡的家人和朋友,可是因為想念他們時我可以打電話,但是有很多是電話和郵件也幫不上忙的,例如食物與大自然景觀,也因為這樣我愈想念它們."

My feelings about certain family members is more ambiguous this year, mostly because of dramas which unfolded last summer.  Family: you can't live with 'em, and you sure don't want to share a car with them all the way down to Brookings, Oregon. 
因為暑假發生了一些事情, 我今年應該不會那麼想念某些家人 .  有時候和家人溝通很難, 一起開一台車去很遠的奧勒岡州的布魯金斯更難.

We did make it down to the Siskiyous though.  Trouble was that it was after dark and we couldn't see a thing. 我們也到了Siskiyou山脈.  可惜我們經過的時候天已經黑了, 沒辦法看到什麼風景.

"But as I said, this line of thinking can be a dangerous thing. I don't want to miss anything too much, because those things that I miss take away from what I have now. I also know that were I now in Seattle, it is Taiwan I would be missing. I could have Bridgeport, but for the present time I prefer Taiwan Beer. I could have Crater Lake, but for the present time I prefer Jade Mountain.知足常樂.我現在喜歡的啤酒是臺灣啤酒,最有興趣想去探險的是玉山."

I'm still undecided about where I'll be living and working next year, so yeah, it's more productive to focus on Taiwan.  It's better to think about the future, and not worry so much about things in the past.  I'll be back in America one day.  When I am, most of the things I miss will still be there. 我還不是很確定下學年要住哪裡和在哪裡工作, 目前對我來說台灣比較值得重視.  未來比較值得想像, 不用太在意過去的事情.  我有一天會回去美國.  當我回去時, 我現在想念的東西大多還會在那裏.

"I like where I am. There is no need to cloud this place with memories of people, places, and things I cannot have. The past is always there, within me, and there is no need to look elsewhere for it.我喜歡現在居住的地方與朋友,過去的回憶就把它封箱在我的心裡."

I still like Taiwan.  Like a lot of people I'm just worried about the next election.  Tsai Ying-wen or "Korea Country Fish?"  Better relations with the U.S. or China?  Further moves toward independence, or a reaffirmation of "one country, two systems?"  I guess we'll know the answer soon. 我還是喜歡住台灣.  我只是跟很多人一樣擔心下次的大選.  蔡英文或是韓國瑜?  靠近美國或是大陸?  朝獨立的方向或一國兩制的方向?  反正我們快知道這些問題的答案了.

I just hope people don't cast their votes based on fear.  We all need to look forward, not only on a personal level but also when it comes to the place we live in. 我希望人們不只是因為害怕而投票.  我們都要往前看.  個人的未來很重要, 可是我們的家鄉的未來也很重要.

Related Entries 相關的文章:

Retrospective 懷舊的 2: Bicycling in Taitung 臺東腳踏車之旅
Retrospective 懷舊的 1: Where is Taitung?
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