2017年4月9日 星期日

Dino on the Go! 3-4

In which the author of this blog asks himself the important questions - these being the questions from the Dino on the Go! textbooks, Level 3 and Level 4.


1. Can you swim?

Yes, I can.  I know my swimming stroke is off from years of doing it "wrong," but I can get along quite well in the water.  Even with my "wrong" stroke I can beat a lot of people doing the "right" stroke.

This said, I haven't been swimming in quite a while.  I used to go swimming at the Flowing Lake 活水湖 twice a week, but since they privatized that place I just don't enjoy it anymore.  I liked it when it was "our" lake.  I liked it when it was free.  People trying to make money of that lake and the adjoining Forest Park 森林公園 ruined those places for me.

2. What can you do?

For the most part I'm fairly useless, but I can do a few cool things, such as:

a.  Change my shoes without using my hands.

b. Find my way around almost all of southern, central, and eastern Taiwan without a map.

c. Claim a familiarity with obscure Taoist gods and goddesses.

d. Make chocolate chip cookies, pizza, and enchiladas without using a recipe.

3. What are these?

I think that they are gold coins, recovered from the wreckage of an ancient Chinese junk, off the coast of northern California.  You should really get those appraised, man.  You should also contact your local department of Archaeology.  You're about to be famous!

4. What do you want?

What do I want, and should I have it?  Such a question is never as simple as it first seems.

Sexual fantasies aside, I'd like a piping hot pizza right now.  I'd also like a nice IPA to go with it.  And I wish it was Friday afternoon, and that I'd just finished teaching all my classes.

Then I wish that through a freak, painless accident I received superpowers.  Then I could use these powers to travel to distant planets or other dimensions, and over time I could assemble a "rogue's gallery" of formidable foes.

5. What time is it?

It's Hammer time.  And no, you can't touch this.

6. What are you doing?

I'm trying to remember the lyrics to "Can't Touch This," and failing.  Wait... I think I've got it... "My/my/my/music hits me/so hard/makes me say/Oh my Lord/thank you/for blessing me/with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet..."

[bows]

7. Where are you?

I'm in Taitung, Taiwan, which as everyone knows is the center of the universe.  But perhaps you meant that question in another sense, as in: "Where are you mentally?"

I'm feeling pretty good right now.  Tomorrow I will have made up that last of my classes, and after that it's smooth sailing all the way to June 19, when I fly back to Seattle with my younger daughter in tow.  Tomorrow is also Friday, it's been a three-day week thanks to Tomb Sweeping Day and Children's Day, and life seems good.

8. Where's my kite? 

Kites are retarded.  What are you f**king around with a kite for?  Go find something better to do my friend!  Kites are for kids!

Related Entries:

Driving between Jia Yi and Pingtung 在嘉義, 屏東一帶開車 1
Driving between Jia Yi and Pingtung 在嘉義, 屏東一帶開車 2
Walking Around Dong He 在東河散步
Friends to a Fault 正直的人
 

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