5 years from now, after everyone in Taiwan realizes how awesome I am, they'll erect a giant statue in my honor. 五年後, 每個台灣人都會知道我多棒, 然後他們會用高大的雕像紀念我.
They'll build this statue on top of Li Yu Mountain, and it will be the eighth wonder of the world. You'll be able to see it from Green Island, Orchid Island, and even Cheng Gong. 他們會把雕像建立在鯉魚山上, 那也會成為世界第八大奇蹟. 你可以從綠島, 蘭嶼, 甚至成功看到它.
And on that day, no one will have to work, or do anything they find unpleasant. On that day pizza, my favorite food, will be free for all. And it'll be illegal to put shrimp on any pizza, anywhere in Taiwan. 那一天大家不用上班, 也不用做他們不喜歡做的事. 那一天我最喜歡的食物披薩將是免費的. 那一天在台灣放蝦子在披薩上會是違法的事情.
Sun Yat-sen will still be on the 100 NT note, but I'll have my arm around his shoulder - like we're best buddies. Those baseball guys will still be on the 500 NT note, but they'll be giving me a high-five. The mikado pheasants will still be on the 1000 NT note, but I'll be cooking them, at a really fun-looking barbecue. 孫中山還會在100元上, 可是照片上我很親切的用一隻手搭著他的肩. 那些打棒球的人還在500元上, 可是他們都跟我舉手擊掌. 帝雉也還在1000元上, 只是我很開心的烤著牠們.
40 years from now, Taiwan will have a colony on the moon. 四十年之後, 台灣在月球上會有一個殖民地.
By then I'll be very old, but I'll still be very spry. I'll be living in Taitung, in a nice but small house overlooking the ocean. One day I'll receive an invitation to visit Taiwan's moon colony, and I'll happily accept it. 那時候我將很老了, 我還是很會運動. 我將會住在台東, 住在海邊的小房子. 有一天會收到臺灣政府寄給我的請帖請我去月球. 我會很高興的接受這邀請.
80 years from now, I'll most likely be dead. Or at least that's what everyone will think. What will really happen is another story.... 八十年後, 我大概不存在了. 大家應該都是這樣子想, 真正發生的事不是這樣子...
160 years from now, explorers on Jupiter's moon Europa will find my body, frozen in the ice. No one will know how I got there - not even me. But using scientific techniques perfected in the year 2176, they'll transfer my mind into the body of a younger, healthier clone. 160年之後, 在木星附近的木衛二, 一群探險者會發現星球上的冰裡有我. 大家不會知道我怎麼到那裡的. 我自己也不知道. 他們會用2176年的科學技術把我的思想傳送進去較年輕健康的身體.*
Then I'll have many adventures, in this solar system and in others. 然後我會在這個太陽系和其他太陽系展開冒險.
Until one day, while visiting the planet Taiwan in a distant star system, I'll meet a scientist who has invented a real, working time machine. This time machine won't transmit anyone physically through time, but using a person's DNA, it will transmit their consciousness backwards through time to one of their ancestor's bodies. The ancestor's consciousness will be sent forward in time, to the other host body in the future.* 直到有一天, 我的旅程去到一個遙遠的太陽系的 "台灣星" 的時候. 我會在那裏碰到一位時光機器的發明者, 他的機器不會把你的身體送到其他的時間. 這部機器會使用穿越者的DNA和傳送穿越者的意志到他們的祖先的身體裡. 這樣子他跟自己祖先的意志會交換時代, 所以他的祖先就被傳送到未來了.
Because an exact copy of myself is living over a hundred years before, I will become the scientist's test subject, and he'll send me back to the year 1975, when I was born. 因為跟我一模一樣的人在100年前已經存在, 所以我會當發明者的實驗對象. 然後他會用時光機器送我到1975我出生的那一年.
But along the way something will go wrong, and the process will give me amnesia. When I arrive in my infant body I won't remember anything of what happened before. 可是我被送過去的時候出了一些問題, 所以我出生的時候沒辦法記得自己的過去. 在嬰兒的身體裡, 我不記得所有發生過的事情.
Until just now, when I wrote all of it down. 直到現在我把這些事寫下.
And you'll know that I was telling the truth when they start building my statue on top of Li Yu Mountain, 5 years from now. Just wait a while! You'll see! 等到五年後他們在鯉魚山上開始蓋我的雕像, 你們就知道我現在說的是實話. 等一等! 你們就知道!
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*The answer to the mystery of why I was later found, frozen on Europa, will be discovered in the year 3254. I would tell you about it here, but I'm tired.
**One can only assume, then, that sometime in the year 2176 my infant consciousness will be moved into an adult body, and will grow to maturity inside that other "me." I could from this point chronicle my adventures up until the year 20,176, but I think I'll leave that for another day...