2015年11月26日 星期四

List of Things I Could Worry About on a Thursday Afternoon

1. Global warming.

2. Terrorism.

3. The overfishing of Taiwan's coastal waters.

4. The future of English language education in Taiwan.

5. Whether certain people like me or not.

6. Whether or not certain people are talking about me behind my back.

7. Upcoming English competitions.

8. The possibility that it might rain later.

9. Cancer and other potential health problems.

10. Whether the people I work for are happy with my job performance or not.

11. Random, sexually perverse thoughts that occasionally pop into my head.

12. The possibility that this laptop has viruses.

13. If and how much my parents love me, and whether or not this love is equal to the love my siblings receive from the same set of parents.

14. How the Seahawks are doing this season, and if they will make the playoffs.

15. The potential for getting into trouble at work.

16. The likelihood of realizing future plans.

17. The thought that at times I appear ridiculous to others.

18. Getting older, and the possible effects that aging might have on my health.

19. My children's performance in school.

20. The likelihood of my children realizing their own future plans.

21. Complications that might arise from my not having filed U.S. tax returns for more years than I can remember.

22. The possibility of being struck by a car or motorcycle.

23. The possibility of falling over on my bike, increased by the fact that I use clip pedals and shoes.

24. Upcoming athletic events.

25. Alienation from my home country, culture, and place of birth.

26. My marital relationship.

27. My tendency to build things up in my mind too much, and to grow disappointed when reality doesn't meet my expectations.

28. The fact that I worry too much.

29. The possibility that this list might not be comprehensive.

30. Friendships with local foreign people, and intimations that I am "too Taiwanese" for them.

31. Friendships with other men, and the idea that I am not manly enough, don't follow the same sports, and don't obsess over the same things as they do.

32. The idea that I could be doing more than I am presently doing.

33. That quote from Ecclesiastes, in which the Preacher say(eth): "Of making books there is no end, and in much study lies a weariness of flesh."

34. Traffic between myself and any future destination.

35. The fact that I drive often, yet don't have a driver's license.

36. The possibility that I am too argumentative.

37. The thought that I am just another white man to those I work with, and any other white man would do just as well.

38. The fact that I am often full of myself, and that I could be more humble.

39. The fact that I sometimes gossip, and that this is something I need to be careful of in the future.

40. Death.

41. The death of those I care about.

42. The fact that I am often disappointed by major motion pictures (Spectre being a prime example) because I have - yet again - built them up in my mind too much.

43. The uncertainty of life, and the fragility of the human condition.

44. The possibility that I don't make the best use of my time, of which this list may be an example.

45. The fact that dumbing oneself down is often an excellent way of winning friends and influencing people.

46. The depletion of coral in the oceans.

47. Ocean acidification.

48. Gaps in my understanding of Chinese, especially idioms.

49. Women who are a little too eager to know me, and/or make themselves available to me.

50. Greed.

51. The possibility that in writing this list I may be giving too much away.

52. Money.

53. Whether or not my cats are destroying something in my apartment right now.

54. The welfare of others.

55. The fact that one of my coworkers has developed an intense dislike for me, and the associated fact that I can do little about it.

56. The extinction of animal and plant species.

57. The chopping down of the rainforest.

58. The idea of free market environmentalism vs. government regulation.

59. The certainty that I am also contributing to global warming, air pollution, depletion of the water table, the creation of waste, unfriendliness, loneliness, and other social and environmental ills.

60. The existence of God and the role of the deity in my personal affairs.

61. The question of religion.

62. Orthodoxy vs. orthopraxy.

63. The things I might or might not do this weekend.

64. Ongoing Facebook arguments with complete strangers.

65. The fact that some people are just a**holes.

66. The fact that sometimes I am also an a**hole.

67. My overconsumption of coffee.

68. The content of this morning's breakfast, which consisted of a spicy chicken hamburger and a milk tea at a local breakfast restaurant - not organic by any stretch of the imagination.

69. The fact that there are several things I cannot put on this list because they will incriminate me in the eyes of God and Man alike.

70. The idea that #69 above might just apply to everyone apart from Gandhi, Mother Theresa, the mentally retarded, and the insane.

71. The fact that I am not a practicing Catholic, yet at times experience Catholic guilt.

72. The relationship between Taiwan and Mainland China.

73. The possibility that Taiwan will one day be swallowed up by Mainland China.

74. Politics.

75. Pop stars personal relationships (just kidding).

76. The idea that trying to be "cool" is silly, but the corresponding fact that I want to be cool.

77. False friends.

78. People mistaken for adversaries.

79. My parents being taken care of in their old age.

80. The possibility of my sister or brother being unable to do this.

81. Taking care of my mother-in-law in her old age.

82. The susceptibility of my mother-in-law to con men and false bargains, and also her general lack of common sense.

83. A false sense of superiority.

84. The idea that I abuse Facebook, and should instead bring a book to school.

85. The possibility that I am forgetting something important.

86. The question as to what "a life well lived" might actually be.

87. My hairline.

88. The fact that part of the reason I exercise is that I am vain.

89. American and Mainland Chinese geopolitical struggles, not restricted to the subject of Taiwan, the building of naval bases in the South China Sea, and terrorism.

90. The fact that I am not always the best father and husband, and that I could in general be a better person.

91. The silence that pervades this office, and the fact that many of my coworkers have stopped speaking to each other.

92. What I might do during Chinese New Year.

93. What I might eat for dinner tomorrow.

94. What kind of alcoholic beverage I might drink tomorrow.

95. What kind of books I might buy in Taipei next week.

96. Whether or not I'll be bored at the wedding dinner in Taipei next week.

97. The future of space travel.

98. The making of lists.

99. The futility that often accompanies human existence.

100. The fallibility of both authority figures and institutions.

101. The fact that tomorrow I will probably think of dozens of other things to add to this list, and that the incomplete nature of this list will bother me.

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Stepping Out 走到戶外
Far Away Home 遠離家園