2015年10月9日 星期五

If I Was a Taiwanese Celebrity... 如果我是個台灣明星...


If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably spend a lot of money on skin care products.  Maybe I'd even star in commercials for the skin care products I used, and they would give me extra skin care products for free!  如果我是個台灣的明星, 我應該會花很多錢買護膚產品.  可能我會為自己用的膚產品作廣告, 然後他們會送我很多免費的膚產品.

If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably own another house in Canada.  In my house there would be a swimming pool and an exercise room, and I'd have an expensive car parked in my garage. 
如果我是個台灣明星, 我應該會在加拿大再買一棟房子.  那棟房子會有游泳池跟健身房, 還有很貴的車停在車庫裡.

If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably worry about growing older.  I'd spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, looking for wrinkles that weren't there before.  When the worry over old age became too much for me, I'd think about visiting a plastic surgeon. 
如果我是個台灣明星, 我應該會很擔心變老.  我每天可能花很長的時間看鏡子, 尋找還不存在的皺紋.  當我無法接受變老這件事情的時候, 我就開始找整形外科醫生.

If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably star in my own variety show.  I'd have a very fake laugh, and I'd use it all the time.  Then the other Taiwanese celebrities and I would play silly games together, and it would look really fun - even though it wasn't.  如果我是個台灣明星, 我應該會有自己的電視節目.  我會在節目中發出很假的笑聲, 也要笑不停.  然後我會跟其他的明星玩很無聊的遊戲.  我們玩的時候會看起來很開心, 但我心裡卻覺得很不好玩.


If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably do interviews for glossy magazines.  In the interviews I'd always pretend to know what I was talking about, even if the questions asked by the interviewers confused me.  如果我是個台灣明星, 我應該會接受有水準的雜誌的訪問.  談話的時候我會假裝自己知道自己在講什麼, 但其實我不太懂記者問的問題.

If I was a Taiwanese celebrity - and if I was cheating on my wife or husband - I'd wear sunglasses and baggy clothes when my lover and I visited the night market.  Then, when someone recognized me, I'd act surprised and pretend that nothing was going on.  "What are you talking about?" I would protest, "We're just friends!"  如果我是個台灣明星 - 如果我想有婚外情 - 我跟情人逛夜市的時候會戴太陽眼鏡和穿寬大的衣服.   當路邊的人發現我是誰的時候, 我就會很驚訝地說我們兩個不是情人, 只是朋友而已.

If I was a Taiwanese celebrity, I'd probably complain about being a Taiwanese celebrity.  I'd complain about the cost of skin care products, I'd complain about the cost of my Canadian house, I'd complain about growing older, I'd complain about my variety show, I'd complain about the boring interviews I had to do, and I'd complain about the press invading my personal life.  如果我是個台灣明星, 我應該會抱怨在台灣當明星很麻煩.  我會抱怨膚商品很貴, 加拿大的房子也很貴, 變老很不方便, 上電視節目很麻煩, 跟記者談話很無聊, 還有抱怨記者讓大家知道我的私生活.

Then maybe I'd hear that I got a part in a big, new movie, or that I'd just been selected to endorse a new skin cream, or that my CD sold another 100 thousand copies in China.  And I'd forget about all my troubles - and be happy - for a while.  之後我也許會聽到自己得到一個重要的電影的角色, 或者是因為要推銷新的膚商品, 或是我在中國賣了10萬張的CD.  然後我就會忘了所有的問題 - 就很高興 - 一下子.


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極端狀況 "Extreme Situations"
"Chinese" Tourists 大陸客*
The Apple Daily 蘋果日報
雲豹 - 從動物王國上消失的傳奇 "The Clouded Leopard - From the Animal Kingdom to the Realm of Legend"

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